Summer love can be fun but also stressful if you have a habit of sabatoging relationships. The pattern of crash and burn dating is hard to break because your subconscious mind tends to draw you to the same situations and people again and again. Here are some tips to make your summer romance last until the air grows chilly in the fall and hopefully transform into a long-lasting relationship.
1. Do the opposite. If you are in a new relationship, do not automatically fall into the same patterns that did not work for you in the past. No matter how strong the pull, try to resist the common behaviors that drove a person away before and take a risk by acting against your fears. You may find that a new approach is both beneficial and freeing in keeping the other person interested.
2. Hold on Loosely. Remember that old song from the eighties? Think of holding a pen in your hand. If you grasp it too tightly your writing will look forced and too lose will make it sloppy. When you were just beginning to use the pencil, you had to find that sweet spot where you hand held it just right. Find that balance in your relationship. Do not force love or rebel against holding love at all. There is an energy when there is just a little bit of tension to keep both parties interested that keeps the fire burning between the two of you.
3. Keep your current life. Don't blow off your friends to completely dive into your new relationship. When someone new arrives, your social calendar does change. Your true friends can help you keep your feelings in check because they truly care about you. Your partner will find it attractive that you have another life besides what he or she offers you. Nothing puts more pressure on a relationship than the other person revolving their whole life around you when they do not even know you yet.
4. Take it slow. If you are meant to be together, there is a whole lifetime to spend together. So many relationships end too soon because one or both people try to squeeze the evolution of an entire relationship in one week. Don't jump in with both feet because you are only seeing the surface of the other person. Be patient and allow the romance to take its natural course.
5. Play Big. Sometimes when you really want a relationship and someone sails into your life, you immediately put them on a pedastal as the savior to your lonely existence. By doing this, you automatically put them above you and place yourself in a mental state of trying to earn their love. When you play small, the other person subconsciously feels your inferiority and then gets turned off. They won't be able to put their finger on it, but all they want to do is get away from you. If you come from a place of "I am the prize," the other person will feel like they are the lucky ones and treat you like a prince or princess. You will get the love you really deserve.
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